Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Finding and Following Your Star - Julie & Julia

Last night, we had a Ladies' Night out. Dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant then off the see Julie & Julia. Five of the six of us had worked together at the Forestville Post Office as Rural Carriers. Two still work at a post office, two are retired, and they put me out to pasture after I got hit by a truck, hurt my shoulder and could no longer deliver mail.

Even though I worked overtime nearly every week, substituted on all the routes, could do all types of mail processing, etc., my classification was "part time" so I had no recourse.

I miss the income, but I do not miss the job. The best part of it I still have - the friends I made - 'comrades in arms.' We share our 'war stories' and our present lives. We all live within a few miles of each other. One woman even lives on my street.

The other part of the job I liked was the dogs. I always carried treats and threw them to the dogs, who waited, with their tails wagging, inside the fences. If the dogs were in the house, they started barking when I came by, fearing they would miss their treat. I left the treats in the mailbox.

We went to see Julie & Julia. A fantastic film. I loved it, for so many reasons. One was Meryl Streep. One of my favorite actors: that woman can play anyone. It's like she channels the person. Truly amazing. The other thing I loved was the walk down memory lane - the 50s and early 60s - my childhood days. Seeing the clothes, cars, furniture etc. was so nostalgic. I envied the marriages these two women had. I have never had a relationship like that in my life. Supportive, smart, employed, gentle, sexy - where did they meet these men? I cried with envy, knowing what a difference it can make to have a partner like that, even though I have never had one.

I realized how much I love to oook and have dinner parties. Yes, when I first moved into my tiny house, I had small dinner parties. I have a large collection of cookbooks and when I travel, I always buy herbs and spices not available here at home. I miss cooking for people.

Julie and Julia, two women who made their mark following their heart's desire. I could see how much difference having a goal that serves as a guiding star, can make in your life.

Right now, I feel lost at sea, anchorless, floundering, adrift. It feels like so many things I have set my hand to have failed. I am truly tired of trying to find something that works. I feel surrounded by loss and endings. I understand now why people are so thrilled when a baby is born. Something new, hope, a new start.

Oh! to have something to look forward too! I find myself whiling away the time playing computer games, accomplishing nothing besides keeping my meat suit alive.

This movie made me laugh and cry. I never watched Julia Child on T.V. I only knew her as the brunt of jokes and slapstick gags. Now I see what a delightful person she was. Truly charming. A magical being. A woman who was herself and by so doing freed others to be themselves. I wish I were more like her. She had a big heart, a warm smile and an infectious laugh. At least, that is how Streep portrayed her and Streep, being who she is, would do all she could to be faithful to the truth of the character.

Long live Julia Child!


marsha said...

I yearn to have a group of friends who live near me. Although I've lived in the same neighborhood for 20 years, I've become a loner (two many contributing factors to list here). The point is that I envy you with your group of friends who can get together and do something fun. I have friend but none within five miles. None within 10 miles. I enjoy your blog, but I hope you see what a great thing you have done, forming a girl group. A group such as this helps ground you. Sometimes I feel as though I'm floating through an abyss without connection to anyone.

suZen said...

I don't use the "F" word (failure) but I re-invented myself and tried so many things over the years that I look back on all of now and say, wow, I did a lot with my life. Sure it wasn't all a raging success but I learned a lot. Don't buckle. You haven't tried everything yet - something is gonna click - keep your eyes open and listen to your heart.

seanymph said...

I do remember Julia Child. I used to watch her all the time. While I havent seen this movie yet, I want to. Im sure Meryl Streep played her exactly as she is. I read Julia's biography, she had an amazing life.

I know how you feel tho, Im still stuck here and money is becoming an issue. Family drama is still going on but Ive decided all of it has to be pushed aside. I must get this house done or lose it. But feeling so very stuck is undoing me.